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  I met my friend when we were in graduate school, and we enjoyed hanging out together outside of classes. After receiving our degrees, we both left school to live in different states. That was 10 years ago.We've kept in touch, but our phone conversations and twice-a-year visits became opportunities for my friend to talk endlessly about her problems. When I tried to fill her in on my own life, she obviously tuned out.In the past few years I've not visited her at all and dread her occasional phone calls and visits to my house. She invites herself now because I no longer invite her. When she's at my home, she literally follows me from room to room, talking nonstop Cheap Fake Oakley, until I make an excuse to get away from her. I tell her I need to take a nap, but I don't sleep. I sit in my room and read or enjoy the quiet.Here's the worst part. She and her family, including two young children, are moving to our city. Her family has a small income, and they are buying a house in a grand neighborhood they can't afford. She asked if she and her husband and her children can stay at my home on their trips to our town to deal with house matters.My husband and I have no children. Even though our home is tiny and perfectly sized for us, I let them stay. She told me her husband would start his new job before they finished purchasing this house. I felt obligated to offer him our guest room. If I hadn't offered, she would have asked anyway.Now he's here, and it turns out he'll be staying on through the weekends. I am seething.I would never, ever Discount Oakley Sunglasses, under any circumstances impose on a friendship this way. I feel used, resentful Replica Ray Bans, and don't care if I ever see her again. Should I end this friendship? I'm getting absolutely nothing from it but a knot in my stomach.LorraineLorraine, life hands us lessons all the time. When we don't learn the lesson, life gets more and more difficult until we do.You were making and accepting calls from a woman you didn't even want to talk to. Now her husband is living in your house. Furthermore, she plans on moving in with her two small children. Where does this lead? Count on being a free, drop-in babysitter. Count on her asking you to pick up her kids after school. Count on imposition after imposition until you finally learn to say no.Tamara often uses the example of oatmeal cookies. If you don't like oatmeal cookies, don't be "polite" and say you do. Otherwise you will always be offered oatmeal cookies, and friends will make you gifts of oatmeal cookies. That is why you cannot fake emotions out of a false sense of politeness.Everything is being done to the advantage of your "friend." Nothing is to your advantage. This arrangement isn't working, and her husband needs to stay elsewhere. It is too much of an imposition. Call her tonight and tell her. Pick a day soon, like Friday, and tell her that will be his moving day. Let her know she and her family must make other arrangements when they move, whether their house is ready or not.Don't waste time on long explanations or sugarcoat it. Make the call short and factual.WayneLorraine Triumphant!You are so absolutely positively right. I am instant messaging my husband right now to discuss our visitor's last day. I think what I found most helpful is your pointing out that I'm accepting calls and visits from someone I don't want to talk to. It's so crystal clear. Thanks for giving me the kick in the butt that I need.LorraineLorraine, tonight we will lift our glasses and toast your victory.Wayne & TamaraDirect Answers - Column for the week of October 18, 2004About The AuthorAuthors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

  Ion Storm has incorporated a third-person view into the third Thief title, Deadly Shadows, in addition to the traditional first-person perspective, publisher Eidos announced late last week. The developer claims that players will be able to shift seamlessly between the first and third-person views, giving them more tools with which to tackle their stealthy tasks.Due in spring 2004 on PC and Xbox, Thief: Deadly Shadows was recently confirmed as the name of the third outing in the esteemed series, which began life under the control of sadly missed developer Looking Glass. Eidos also hinted at the significance of that title in last week's press release, commenting that characters and objects' real-time shadows will affect the stealth gameplay, forcing the player to manipulate light and darkness in order to create shadows to hide in - which sounds like a welcome change from the traditional and widespread distribution of conveniently darkened doorways seen in similar titles.

  While the rest of us were nursing hangovers the size of many small Eastern European countries, Massively Multiplayer Online RPG creators Verant and owners Sony were raising their glasses for the second day running to their most successful day of EverQust play ever. Before New Year's, Sony estimate that its 38 San Diego-based servers were playing host to some 60,000 to 70,000 players simultaneously at peak hours, but on January 1st, it is said that the peak total for the most players logged on simultaneously rose to an astronomical 81,858, approximately a quarter of the 330,000 subscribed EverQuest players in the world. The total is said to have steadily increased since the release last month in the States of mission pack The Scars of Velious. The mission pack is due out over here sometime this quarter.

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